St. Aidan’s Episcopal Church
Second Sunday In Lent
Genesis 12:1-4a
Romans 4:1-5, 13-17
Psalm 121
John 3:1-17
BORN TO TRUST
It is often in the middle of the night that the answers come. We wake from restless sleep and find the solution to a long sought-for answer hanging in the night air around our beds. Words that have eluded us by day, suddenly slip into place in perfect sentences in a way they just couldn’t seem to during the daylight hours. It is at night, when many a revelation occurs. And it is also at night that our private fears and worries can become most acute....anxious anticipation of what the day may bring...the maybe’s and the what-ifs...the should’s and have to’s......maybe a big test or exam, a new job interview, a visit to the doctor, uncertainty or worry about family or relationships, or the prospect of spending a day alone through the loss of a loved one…or even the coronavirus. No matter the reasons for our restlessness, the workings of our minds inform us of our searching, our inner longings to understand the truth of things, for whatever it is that seems to elude us. We search for whatever it is that interferes with our sense of belonging and completeness, .....that sense of joy to bring us to knowing the absolute fullness of life and living.
It could be that Nicodemus had spent a few restless nights as a result of his own hovering anxieties and search for insight glimmering around the edges of his psyche, and so he felt compelled to make his way out into the night to find this Jesus who was creating such a stir among the people. He knew he needed to talk directly to him to search for answers that might make sense of all the talk about Jesus...answers that would allow him to enjoy more restful sleep. He needed answers that would allow him to return to the normal order of things.... where and when all is as it should be....with no hint of change in the wind that can threaten or displace one in the world. Yet what we think we need may not be what God knows we need, and in order to learn the answers we seek, we need to know the questions God is waiting to hear us ask.
Nicodemus was a Pharisee, a member of the Sanhedrin, a ten-member council that held sway over Jews everywhere. There must have been plenty of discussion about Jesus going on in the Sanhedrin meeting rooms and in the halls and he would have been a part of that ongoing and increasingly potent conversation. His use of the plural “we” implies he is representing others or at least the thoughts and opinions of others. He must have been a pious man, a faithful man, a teacher, but his was a world of rules and regulations, complex laws governing every part of Jewish life. It is amazing, really, that he would even think about speaking to Jesus. Yet perhaps his public irritation at this rabble-rousing rabbi from Nazareth could have become something else in the privacy of his nights....a need for assurance that this Jesus was no threat to the status quo, or might even be the One he had been secretly hoping for during his entire lifetime.
Perhaps Nicodemus felt something missing in his life that he couldn’t put his finger on.....some sense of loneliness in the world, some incompleteness even amidst his worldly success. Or, for all our speculation, in light of all he had heard about Jesus, perhaps it was nothing more than mere curiosity that compelled him to search Jesus out.
He questions Jesus about his signs that seem to be possible only through the presence of God and is given, what seems to be a puzzling answer.....”No one can see the Kingdom of God without being born from above. To which Nicodemus responds.... “How can this be”, “Can one enter a second time into the mother’s womb and be born?” (John 3:4) There’s a part of me that unashamedly would have loved to see the look on Jesus’s face at that moment. Nicodemus seems at a loss to understand.....is clearly thinking inside the box......and yet not so much at a loss not to sense that whatever it is that Jesus is calling him to do, to be born again or born from above.......would require a complete turn around.....a new beginning....require a different kind of renewal that seemed so outlandish and radical that it would be beyond his capacity to consider.
To be born again is to embrace radical change.....so that your outlook and perspective of the world in which you live is radically new....so that you, yourself, your hangups, your barriers to unabashed love are gone....you are innocent again....innocent as the day you were born of the flesh.....fresh faced in the light of your faithful answer to God’s call. You are beginning again. And this is not through your own achievement, but through the power and grace of God.
I think it is safe to say that those of us here today have grown up with privilege relative to most of the world. We were born into a world that understands worldly power and we have benefited and do benefit from the system of which we are a part. We cling to it, and resist and distrust any attempt we perceive to be trying to take it away. To give any part of it up means discomfort and loss. It means a kind of commitment to change that commits the offering of total self to the other......an idea that seems too outlandish in this age of personal achievement and critical success. And yet... Jesus tells us that we are to do just that in order to be made new again and see the Kingdom of God.
Nicodemus, in his ultimate and literal come-to-Jesus moment, couldn’t commit to it....couldn’t bring himself to change from the known and comfortable to the discomfort of the unknown...the experience of being born into innocent trust again. Instead, he employed his worldly logic, his sophisticated skepticism, and while deep down, he might have had a glimpse of what could be......perhaps wanting nothing more than to jump at the chance for a new life.... following the way of this intriguing rabbi....certainly at this first encounter with the prospects of what it would mean....... he just couldn’t do it. It would be as impossible as climbing back into his mother’s womb to be born all over again.” Somehow....too late and too impossible.
Much like Nicodemus, many of us want badly to change the person we have become....yet cling to the safety of the persona we have created for ourselves. Jesus reminds us that what is “born of the flesh is flesh” and that’s us alright.....with our human frailties and frustrations. But, he goes on....”What is born of the Spirit is Spirit”....a powerful presence that can take us to heights that we could never achieve on our own. Jesus makes the commitment very clear. To be born of the Spirit is to be born into absolute faith and trust in God’s way, and to enter knowingly into sacrifice and the unknown.
Jesus tells us, “The wind blows where it chooses, and you hear the sound of it, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes.” (John 3:8) Jesus wants us to be open to receive it when it blows our way.
Walter Brueggemann says “It is the wind of love, the offer of new life that is inexplicable and quite beyond our control.” Are we willing to allow the wind....the Holy Spirit to lead us where it will?
To commit to following Jesus, means to commit to innocent trust, rather than sophisticated skepticism. It means a call to sign on to his invitation toward a new way of living in the world, a new kind of action....a movement that takes us into the heart of the marginalized. Not viewing the persecuted, the oppressed and needy from the sidelines of good deeds in such a way that it merely works with our greater agenda to control or fix what we deem to be problematic. Not using the margins of faith that somehow make us look good, feel good ........allowing us to check off our personal faith- in-action box that is part of our worldly success plan........... but into the heart of the matter.....where our own change......our own new approach is less about us and more about the degree of hope our trust in God can bring about in the world. This is what Jesus wants of us. Nothing more, nothing less.
Like Nicodemus, we are intelligent, educated, not without compassion and a desire to do things right, yet Jesus might look at us in much the same way as he sees Nicodemus.....having all the data we need to start over with a new perspective, but filled with fearful resistance to the call, or with resistance because innocent trust is too much to ask of us worldly beings..
Jesus wants us to sign on to more than known possibilities...he wants us to sign on to absolute faith in the unknown.....and to trust in the outcomes of that decision for absolute faith. It’s the Indiana Jones moment – the stepping out when all that is logical says “don’t!” In the scene from the movie, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, Indiana comes to a massive, endlessly deep canyon, which he must cross in order to find the Holy Grail that will heal his dying father. It is described by his guide book as a “leap of faith” and his father’s words ring in his ears, “You must believe, boy, you must believe.”
I still hold my breath, every time I watch this scene....can he do it. I know he can.....after all...... he’s Indiana Jones....but....could this decision be the end of him? I want him badly to take the step.....not just for himself, but for all of us....to prove that faith really does work. I want him to take the step for all of us who are too afraid to take the step ourselves. Because......like Nicodemus, we are locked into our own layers of needs....our own comforts....our own fears.......and taking such a step seems far too risky to attempt.
Indiana steps forward into space and, appearing beneath his foot, comes solid footing...narrow....hard to balance on...... challenging....and requiring extreme attention, focus, courage and trust in God and in himself. He takes his first step....and then another....and he seems to grow with each step.....seems to light up with some kind of inner joy....some kind of revelation.....insight into the meaning of true faith.....as he.... now in complete trust..... begins to take the baby steps that will deliver him in safety to the other side of the canyon.....toward the still unknown that lies before him.
It was the same leap of faith that Jesus invited Nicodemus to take...that Jesus invites us all to take. Jesus wants us to step out with trust into a new way of living in faith......acting on that faith in the world without fear and without hesitation. Jesus was waiting for Nicodemus to throw his caution to the wind.....to let the Spirit take hold of it and carry it to something completely new.......so that Nicodemus could stand with Jesus in the daylight and accept the grace he might have longed to receive. In time, Nicodemus did, but it took time, took listening and more sleepless nights. But on the night Jesus died, Nicodemus was there, and we will never know the price he paid in exchange for his change of heart.
God knows we all try. God knows we pray for strength and guidance to help us walk the narrow path of sinless living. God knows we believe in God’s love for us, regardless of our weak-kneed faith and thin intentions. But God wants more, not for God, but for us. God wants us to reach beyond some internal, hidden-from- view conviction....some heady, intellectual experience of God......toward experiencing the exhilaration of putting that faith and trust into action.......to experience what complete freedom and joy we can feel when we commit completely and publicly to living and acting in the world in God’s way. With this absolute faith and trust comes the same kind of innocence and trust we understand is real in a new-born baby....or a baby animal......and we smile automatically ...not just because the baby is sweet, but because.....deep down, we know this is a possibility that is newly born. It is innocence......as yet untouched by worldly cynicism, doubt, fear, insecurity.......neither yet hunter or prey....... simply a trusting response to our smile.
Perhaps there is no better time than now, in the midst of this rampant virus, when our world’s own insecurities bring the unexpected and force us to face it,
Like Abram, who left all that was known to him to take his family and enter into the wilderness of the desert in search of something, somewhere else......and like Nicodemus, who came seeking, to learn, simply in response to God’s call, we are called to look around us.....realize our realities....the outer realities and those that lie deep within us.
What is the reality of your faith and where is the deep canyon of doubt that looms before you? Where is it that you must, without being sure of where it will take you, sink or swim, step out? Where is your faith growing thin and weak with desire for self over others.....with opting for the safe, the norm, the known, the acceptable, the politically correct, the vanilla brand of Christianity that can be alluded to ever so politely in social circles. Where is it that Jesus waits for you ......waits to invite you to stretch.....to venture out and beyond where you have ever been before?
What will it mean in your life to be re-born? To be made new....to throw open your soul to the will of God?
When will you come to speak to Jesus in response to your own personal call from God.....just as you are.....and what will you be ready to say and hear when you realize that it is nothing less than blind trust that Jesus is asking of you. Will you say, Jesus I know I was born again when I was baptized, but I have lost my way. Will you ask....teacher, tell me again........tell me how I can be born anew within my life and circumstances and yet be born from above?
When it is time for your conversation with Christ, will you come looking for Jesus in the dead of night....looking carefully around you......afraid to be heard or seen, speaking only in a whisper......so that no one else will know you are there?
Or will you come by day, unafraid for your faith to be seen…..born anew…..born to trust.........willing to be sent wherever the Spirit calls you to follow, with joy in your heart and singing in your soul?
End
Written to the Glory of God
E.J. R. Culver+
March 8, 2020